Um. What the F*** was THAT?

Ok, so if you don't want to watch the whole trailer (you anti-Twilight fans), you can skip to 1:48 and listen to the strangled, retarded noise that comes out of Bella at the end.

I mean, that noise was CLASSIC. It was like a cross between a puke, a yell and a vampire/werewolf hybrid death rattle. Amazing.

Slow. Fucking. Clap. Kristen Stewart.

In all seriousness (yes, seriously) I love Twilight. But no, that noise was just weird. Jodie thinks I should give the girl a break, she is having a vampire baby, after all. But it's way more fun to make fun of her.

If I was having a vampire baby, I'd keep my garbled screams and throaty coughs to a minimum, thank you very much, lest the vampires decide that I'm not as cool as they thought I was and then eat me. Although, maybe that would be ok...

I'm getting off topic.

Also - I'm available to any vampires, as a lover... not a meal. Seriously.

Tea Party Interrupted.

Note:  This is an abbreviated version.  For the full experience click here and then click here.

All Photos (c) Copyright
NHuval Photos and Letters From Home Photography

Cat Daddy?

Ok, so... I came across this video.  Honestly, I must be too white for this, because it seems like a bunch of random nonsense.

"Move your arms like ur wheelchair stuck."

Hah! Wow.

By the way, I had to consult the Urban Dictionary on this whole "Cat Daddy" thing (another sign I'm too white for this). And really, I'm still confused.

Vampire Juicebox

LOVE it!!

I Wanna Be a Backup Singer...

Yep, I do. But I bet the reason you're thinking of isn't what I'm thinking of. Some backup singers have the most fun, ever! There have been quite a few songs where I crack up at what the backup singers are singing, "They're really singing that and they're serious!" It sounds so pretty, their voices carrying a tune so beautifully in a soprano while the lead singer belts out the chorus or raps a verse.

Yeah, I said "raps a verse". Since one of my colleagues was talking about a "Holla Back Girl", it made me think of a 2Pac song I'm pretty fond of. It's very catchy, as far as I'm concerned; the beat and the lyrics flow together nicely and just make me want to shake my ass. For a long time I'd sing and rap right along with it, but then one day I realized how goofy it was that the backup singers were singing what they were singing, and it sounded so innocent. For example, in 2Pac's song, "Holla at Me", it begins with this:

(Backup singers)

"Niggas out there jealous cuz we be bailin' with Death Row  
They try to playa hate
but they can't fade us tho'
We be mobbin' through tha neigborhood
Yeah
with that funky sound *so funky*
we be throwin' down"

then later in the song...
"you betta beware where you lay
we betta not find where you stay..."

Yeah, that's right. Those sweet-sounding ladies said the "N" word and "playa hate", and then proceeded to make threats. WTF? But, I swear, it just MAKES the song. It wouldn't be the same without it! I'm sure it would've been a bomb for Tupac Shakur if he didn't hire Kim*, Stacy*, and  Monica* to vocalize the intro and some other key phrases of his rap. Listen to the song here, to see what I mean. What I think is even more amusing is that if a non-English speaking person was listening to this song, they might think the ladies were singing something about flowers and rainbows, instead of Death Row and throwin' down.

Another example of a song with highly entertaining backup vocals (and actually, the whole song is effin priceless) is "Sweet Ballad" by Munchausen Proxy (Zooey Deschanel and Von Iva) from the movie "Yes Man". This song is about being a "Holla Back Girl"...but NO MORE! Von Iva sings backup vocals: "whore whore whore....whore no more". It's hysterical! Listen and watch the video of this jam here.

So all of these lyrical shenanigans have inspired me to write my own mini ditty with backup vocals. I would have someone else be the lead singer, though:

Lead (Backup)

"I want to go to the coffeehouse
(get off our couch, bitch)

I want to get my regular sip o' joe
(don't make me wait, mo' fo')

Will smile and wave at the other customers
(but that doesn't mean you can join our conversation so shut the f**k up)

And enjoy my Sunday afternoon with my BFF's
(if you don't like what we're talkin bout get the f**k out)

I loooooooooove Sundays at the coffeeeeeeeeehouuuuuuuuse!"

I think I have a Top 40 Hit on my hands...

*Names have been changed because I don't really know who the hell the backup singers are.

Holla Back Girl

A girl that is willing to be treated like a doormat or booty call. She is a girl that will allow guys to do whatever they want with her and will just wait for them to 'holla back' at them.

My Public Service Announcement for the day:

Guess what girls? You are so much cooler than any guy. Tell them to take a hike.

Oh, seriously... I don't have any reason for posting this. At all.

The World is Ending

I think this would be WAY cooler than an earthquake.

... or so I'm told.

Ok, so earlier this year the world was supposed to end.  I found the whole May 21st "End of Days" thing a little rude, because my birthday is the 29th, and I would have totally been jipped (what's up with that EARTH! or maybe it was God, I can't remember).  But, that didn't happen.  I was amazed.. seriously.

And then, there was that whole "earthquake" thing in Virginia (and apparently people in Georgia freaked out, whatever).  But when I checked that out, apparently I should be more concerned about Northern Peru and Vanatu, because that place seems out of control.  Seriously earth... stop bitching.  It's annoying the people of Peru.

Now, there is this whole HURRICANE Irene thing.  And of course it's probably going to MURDER New York, and that's unfair, because it's New York City.  Ok?

So... apparently all this devastating, destructiveness means that the world is ending.. again.  I guess that means I should stock up on essentials, and break out my emergency supplies in case of riots.  I'll tell my husband to get the guns ready.

What would be REALLY awesome was if the Hurricane brought zombies with it.  Can you imagine?!  Zombies flying out of the eye of the storm, landing on windshields and then eating your brain!  A-MAZ-ING!

In any case, I'm ready for the end.  You better be too.

SHIT!  I'm out of milk.

P.S. - If this doesn't work out, there is always 12/21/12 to look forward to.