F*ing Facebook....
Friday, October 21, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Dr. Suess
I love this Auto Correct so much! It's like a twisted, perverted Dr. Suess lyric! It's exceptional!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Um. What the F*** was THAT?
Ok, so if you don't want to watch the whole trailer (you anti-Twilight fans), you can skip to 1:48 and listen to the strangled, retarded noise that comes out of Bella at the end.
I mean, that noise was CLASSIC. It was like a cross between a puke, a yell and a vampire/werewolf hybrid death rattle. Amazing.
Slow. Fucking. Clap. Kristen Stewart.
In all seriousness (yes, seriously) I love Twilight. But no, that noise was just weird. Jodie thinks I should give the girl a break, she is having a vampire baby, after all. But it's way more fun to make fun of her.
If I was having a vampire baby, I'd keep my garbled screams and throaty coughs to a minimum, thank you very much, lest the vampires decide that I'm not as cool as they thought I was and then eat me. Although, maybe that would be ok...
I'm getting off topic.
Also - I'm available to any vampires, as a lover... not a meal. Seriously.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Tea Party Interrupted.
Note: This is an abbreviated version. For the full experience click here and then click here.
All Photos (c) Copyright
NHuval Photos and Letters From Home Photography
All Photos (c) Copyright
NHuval Photos and Letters From Home Photography
Monday, September 12, 2011
Cat Daddy?
Ok, so... I came across this video. Honestly, I must be too white for this, because it seems like a bunch of random nonsense.
Hah! Wow.
By the way, I had to consult the Urban Dictionary on this whole "Cat Daddy" thing (another sign I'm too white for this). And really, I'm still confused.
"Move your arms like ur wheelchair stuck."
Hah! Wow.
By the way, I had to consult the Urban Dictionary on this whole "Cat Daddy" thing (another sign I'm too white for this). And really, I'm still confused.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I Wanna Be a Backup Singer...
Yep, I do. But I bet the reason you're thinking of isn't what I'm thinking of. Some backup singers have the most fun, ever! There have been quite a few songs where I crack up at what the backup singers are singing, "They're really singing that and they're serious!" It sounds so pretty, their voices carrying a tune so beautifully in a soprano while the lead singer belts out the chorus or raps a verse.
Yeah, I said "raps a verse". Since one of my colleagues was talking about a "Holla Back Girl", it made me think of a 2Pac song I'm pretty fond of. It's very catchy, as far as I'm concerned; the beat and the lyrics flow together nicely and just make me want to shake my ass. For a long time I'd sing and rap right along with it, but then one day I realized how goofy it was that the backup singers were singing what they were singing, and it sounded so innocent. For example, in 2Pac's song, "Holla at Me", it begins with this:
(Backup singers)
"Niggas out there jealous cuz we be bailin' with Death Row
They try to playa hate
but they can't fade us tho'
We be mobbin' through tha neigborhood
Yeah
with that funky sound *so funky*
we be throwin' down"
then later in the song...
"you betta beware where you lay
we betta not find where you stay..."
Yeah, that's right. Those sweet-sounding ladies said the "N" word and "playa hate", and then proceeded to make threats. WTF? But, I swear, it just MAKES the song. It wouldn't be the same without it! I'm sure it would've been a bomb for Tupac Shakur if he didn't hire Kim*, Stacy*, and Monica* to vocalize the intro and some other key phrases of his rap. Listen to the song here, to see what I mean. What I think is even more amusing is that if a non-English speaking person was listening to this song, they might think the ladies were singing something about flowers and rainbows, instead of Death Row and throwin' down.
Another example of a song with highly entertaining backup vocals (and actually, the whole song is effin priceless) is "Sweet Ballad" by Munchausen Proxy (Zooey Deschanel and Von Iva) from the movie "Yes Man". This song is about being a "Holla Back Girl"...but NO MORE! Von Iva sings backup vocals: "whore whore whore....whore no more". It's hysterical! Listen and watch the video of this jam here.
So all of these lyrical shenanigans have inspired me to write my own mini ditty with backup vocals. I would have someone else be the lead singer, though:
Lead (Backup)
"I want to go to the coffeehouse
(get off our couch, bitch)
I want to get my regular sip o' joe
(don't make me wait, mo' fo')
Will smile and wave at the other customers
(but that doesn't mean you can join our conversation so shut the f**k up)
And enjoy my Sunday afternoon with my BFF's
(if you don't like what we're talkin bout get the f**k out)
I loooooooooove Sundays at the coffeeeeeeeeehouuuuuuuuse!"
I think I have a Top 40 Hit on my hands...
*Names have been changed because I don't really know who the hell the backup singers are.
Yeah, I said "raps a verse". Since one of my colleagues was talking about a "Holla Back Girl", it made me think of a 2Pac song I'm pretty fond of. It's very catchy, as far as I'm concerned; the beat and the lyrics flow together nicely and just make me want to shake my ass. For a long time I'd sing and rap right along with it, but then one day I realized how goofy it was that the backup singers were singing what they were singing, and it sounded so innocent. For example, in 2Pac's song, "Holla at Me", it begins with this:
(Backup singers)
They try to playa hate
but they can't fade us tho'
We be mobbin' through tha neigborhood
Yeah
with that funky sound *so funky*
we be throwin' down"
then later in the song...
"you betta beware where you lay
we betta not find where you stay..."
Yeah, that's right. Those sweet-sounding ladies said the "N" word and "playa hate", and then proceeded to make threats. WTF? But, I swear, it just MAKES the song. It wouldn't be the same without it! I'm sure it would've been a bomb for Tupac Shakur if he didn't hire Kim*, Stacy*, and Monica* to vocalize the intro and some other key phrases of his rap. Listen to the song here, to see what I mean. What I think is even more amusing is that if a non-English speaking person was listening to this song, they might think the ladies were singing something about flowers and rainbows, instead of Death Row and throwin' down.
Another example of a song with highly entertaining backup vocals (and actually, the whole song is effin priceless) is "Sweet Ballad" by Munchausen Proxy (Zooey Deschanel and Von Iva) from the movie "Yes Man". This song is about being a "Holla Back Girl"...but NO MORE! Von Iva sings backup vocals: "whore whore whore....whore no more". It's hysterical! Listen and watch the video of this jam here.
So all of these lyrical shenanigans have inspired me to write my own mini ditty with backup vocals. I would have someone else be the lead singer, though:
Lead (Backup)
"I want to go to the coffeehouse
(get off our couch, bitch)
I want to get my regular sip o' joe
(don't make me wait, mo' fo')
Will smile and wave at the other customers
(but that doesn't mean you can join our conversation so shut the f**k up)
And enjoy my Sunday afternoon with my BFF's
(if you don't like what we're talkin bout get the f**k out)
I loooooooooove Sundays at the coffeeeeeeeeehouuuuuuuuse!"
I think I have a Top 40 Hit on my hands...
*Names have been changed because I don't really know who the hell the backup singers are.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Holla Back Girl
A girl that is willing to be treated like a doormat or booty call. She is a girl that will allow guys to do whatever they want with her and will just wait for them to 'holla back' at them.
My Public Service Announcement for the day:
Guess what girls? You are so much cooler than any guy. Tell them to take a hike.
Oh, seriously... I don't have any reason for posting this. At all.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
The World is Ending
 |
| I think this would be WAY cooler than an earthquake. |
Ok, so earlier this year the world was supposed to end. I found the whole May 21st "End of Days" thing a little rude, because my birthday is the 29th, and I would have totally been jipped (what's up with that EARTH! or maybe it was God, I can't remember). But, that didn't happen. I was amazed.. seriously.
And then, there was that whole "earthquake" thing in Virginia (and apparently people in Georgia freaked out, whatever). But when I checked that out, apparently I should be more concerned about Northern Peru and Vanatu, because that place seems out of control. Seriously earth... stop bitching. It's annoying the people of Peru.
Now, there is this whole HURRICANE Irene thing. And of course it's probably going to MURDER New York, and that's unfair, because it's New York City. Ok?
So... apparently all this devastating, destructiveness means that the world is ending.. again. I guess that means I should stock up on essentials, and break out my emergency supplies in case of riots. I'll tell my husband to get the guns ready.
What would be REALLY awesome was if the Hurricane brought zombies with it. Can you imagine?! Zombies flying out of the eye of the storm, landing on windshields and then eating your brain! A-MAZ-ING!
In any case, I'm ready for the end. You better be too.
SHIT! I'm out of milk.
P.S. - If this doesn't work out, there is always 12/21/12 to look forward to.
Threats of Divorce
(Warning: This post contains references to a book series by Karen Marie Moning about intensely sexy Highlanders who consistently struggle with their inner selves about seducing the women they meet in the books (and the women struggle with keeping their hands off these kilt-laden sex gods), but of course each Highlander is destined to be with his woman, his one true mate, and there's actually a plot, I swear!...my husband laughs and teases me incessantly about reading said books.)
Ok, so sometimes my husband pisses me off and I really want to give him a piece of my mind. However, I know how long my bad moods last (about 5-10 minutes usually, before I'm over it...Lithium, anyone?). So instead of calling my husband and going off on him after he left for work, or catching him before he left to work to have it out, I decided to send him a threatening text, knowing that in a few minutes we would be joking with each other anyway. Our conversation in text follows:
Me: Divorce!
Him: It's 8am!
Me: I know! The courthouse is open for business biatch!
Him: You know the kids will want to stay with me, right?
Me: Haha whatever...you work too much and in ur spare time do your other hobbies! No time for them! I'm sick of double standards and rules, oh and thanks for shaving all over my sink that I just cleaned...shave over YOUR sink!
Him: I would have but someone didn't let my shaver charge before they put it away, so I had to leave it plugged in. Oh, and I can just let my sister raise them. How's that for non double standards
Me: Whatever. One of these days you are going to come home and all your stuff is going to be sold...that's all. Have a great day. Love you!
Him: Use the money for a single, one way bus ticket, babe.
Me: Ha! I'll use it for my and the kids' flights to SCOTLAND! Should pay for that and leave me money to live off for a few years.
Him: Just don't come crawling home when your Highlander comes out of the closet wearing a skirt and playing his boyfriend's bagpipe!
Me: Hehehehehe whatever! Okay, I'll buy YOU a kilt.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Just Say No to Hate!
If you buy this shirt, you will receive an automated call from the Authority: "If you would like Eric Northman to show up in your basement in Jason Stackhouse's clothes, press 1. If you want Eric to show up on your porch in his Viking attire, press 2. If you would like Eric and Bill Compton to show up in your living room with bottles of wine, press 3....
And even though many of us would LOVE for Eric or whoever is your fave True Blood character to show up and pay you homage for supporting the cause, isn't it a good motto to apply to life in general? I'm so tired of self-righteous people strutting around calling themselves Christians or "good people" in general, but then they are judgemental, racist, rude jerks spewing meanness from every ounce of their being. Unfortunately, I've seen more of this down here in the so-called "Bible Belt" than anywhere else I've lived. Come on, people! Don't go around preaching if you can't even embody the ideals you supposedly live by. Let hate go, and you'll be happier, no matter what you do or don't believe in!
And even though many of us would LOVE for Eric or whoever is your fave True Blood character to show up and pay you homage for supporting the cause, isn't it a good motto to apply to life in general? I'm so tired of self-righteous people strutting around calling themselves Christians or "good people" in general, but then they are judgemental, racist, rude jerks spewing meanness from every ounce of their being. Unfortunately, I've seen more of this down here in the so-called "Bible Belt" than anywhere else I've lived. Come on, people! Don't go around preaching if you can't even embody the ideals you supposedly live by. Let hate go, and you'll be happier, no matter what you do or don't believe in!
Let the Hilarity Ensue
So, after much thought and time and effort, this blog has been born. Ok, so maybe it wasn't that dramatic, and maybe there wasn't any time to really think about doing it.. but whatever. It's done. Sort of.
What I'm trying to say is this... after having many (and by that I mean maybe 2) people tell us we should have a TV show, because we are so cool (or maybe they meant weird, strange, abnormal, bizarre, pretty?), we have decided to at least start out here, in the blog world.
"We" is our Coffee House Chat group. We've had many come through it, but it now just implies our little group of women who share common interests, and a freakish sense of humor. So, allow us to share some of it with you.
Expect nonsense. Expect intelligence. Expect honor - ok, well, not honor. Just don't expect anything. But don't forget about all the other "everything" stuff.
Enjoy.
What I'm trying to say is this... after having many (and by that I mean maybe 2) people tell us we should have a TV show, because we are so cool (or maybe they meant weird, strange, abnormal, bizarre, pretty?), we have decided to at least start out here, in the blog world.
"We" is our Coffee House Chat group. We've had many come through it, but it now just implies our little group of women who share common interests, and a freakish sense of humor. So, allow us to share some of it with you.
Expect nonsense. Expect intelligence. Expect honor - ok, well, not honor. Just don't expect anything. But don't forget about all the other "everything" stuff.
Enjoy.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Quotes
"Girl! You better shake your hotsy-totsy ass in front of someone else's man, or there won't be more than a tittynope left when I'm done kickin' it. That's right. Mmm hmm..."
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